Okay #Roommates, you have a situation where you could be going to jail for a huge crime and your attorney says your bail could be set at $5 million! Of course, you’re not going down like that, so you decide to flee! Where would you go? Check your zodiac sign to see if we got it right!


Aquarius – Aquarians are super low key and would probably build a camouflage bunker in the Amazon or something. They’ll never be found which is why they are now on the FBI’s most wanted list!

Sagittarius – A Sag would flee to New York City, because it’s a huge city that you can literally blend into. To this sign, discretion can take you much further than a plane ride.

Libra – Libra would flee to Amsterdam, because its gonna take a few stiff drinks and a lil something else to accept that they’re a criminal now!

Pisces – Pisces love water, so they’d go to a the Maldives. The little huts on the water provide equal parts privacy and luxury.

Capricorn – Not even the law can check a Capricorn! They don’t have the energy not the desire to live a life on the run, so they’ll stay their butts at home.

Aries – Aries would flee to Australia to evade a prison sentence. It’s hot there which means a year-long bikini season for this sign!

Taurus – Taurus would go to Dubai if they were a flight risk, because it has all of the elements of a perfect getaway: good food and culture to learn from, plus, who’s going to recognize you in a burqa?!

Gemini – When Lil Wayne said, “Real G’s move in silence like lasagna,” he was talking about Gemini. Since they already have a few, this sign would just go ahead and legitimize one of their identities and settle in Africa somewhere.

Cancer – Cancer would hide out in their parents timeshare in Mexico, but would be sure to do it without them knowing just in case the popo came snooping around. That way they wouldn’t be lying when they say they don’t know where you could be.

Leo – Leo would dip off somewhere like the Cayman Islands where he could live lavishly, but blend in just enough to where he wouldn’t get caught.

Virgo – If Virgo was a flight risk, they wouldn’t leave the country. They’d just hide in plain site! If they get caught, then they will just buy their way out with their mound of savings.

Scorpio – Scorpio wouldn’t leave the country either. They’d just bounce to and fro all of their boos houses. They’ve got a good 7 on speed dial and more whose numbers aren’t even saved!



TSR STAFF: Talia O. @theclosetratchet on IG, @tallyohhh on Twitter

Join the conversation or start it! Comment below:

other roommates are saying...


Welcome to the new Shade Room. Sign Up for Our Newsletter and Never Miss the Tea
You know you never want to miss the tea. Sign up for our email newsletter and get 2 emails a week + exclusive info!