Categories: Celebs

Dave Chappelle on SNL: 5 “Well, damn!” Moments From Chappelle’s Opening Monologue

If anyone else is experiencing 2016 election PTSD, Dave Chappelle is here for you.

The comedian made his highly anticipated comeback to sketch comedy during this week’s episode of Saturday Night Live and it was everything America needed right now—even Trump supporting America.

“It’s been a long time so please be patient,” he said. But it was only seconds before he started dropping jaws and clenching pearls. It’s been over a decade since Dave Chapelle left the game and although some people didn’t have faith in his appearance Saturday night, Dave Chappelle did not disappoint. In fact, he left fans wanting that old thing back!

If there was ever a perfect time to pull the race card, it was Saturday night—just days following the most historically horrific election.

1. “I haven’t seen white people this mad since the O.J. verdict,” he said. “I watched a white riot in Portland, Oregon on television the other night. The news said they did a million dollars worth of damage. Every black person was watching that like, ‘amateurs.’” He made light of the situation saying that blacks have been “there” before; but of course intensely beyond the “there” where Oregon rioters are. “So I’m just going to stay out of it. I’m going to just take a knee like Kaepernick and let the whites figure this out amongst themselves because for us, we’ve been here before.”

He transitions to talking about the amount of shootings America’s been experiencing, including the incident that ended a gorilla’s life. Harambe was shot and killed at a Cincinatti Zoo where authorities say:

2. “Shooting that gorilla was the toughest decision this department ever had to make,” he mocked. “I said well you about to see a whole lot of n****s in gorilla costumes in Cincinnati. Why do we have to say that? Why do we have to say that Black Lives Matter. I admit that is not the best slogan. But McDonald’s already took you deserve a break today.

Like Chappelle said, once the BLM slogan went viral, every classification of people, and their mamas wanted to protest that their lives matter—like police.

3. “Blue lives matter. What were you, born a police? That is not a blue life. That’s a blue suit. If you don’t like it, take that suit off and find a new job; because I’m telling you now. If I could quit being black today I’d be out the game. I did the next best thing: I became a rich black person, which is harder than you think because your life becomes gentrified—like Brooklyn.”

Finally he takes a stab at Donald Trump and his white privilege. He jokes about Donald’s conversation with President Obama during his visit to The White House. His vent session escalated quickly!

4. “Trump: This job looks like it’s going to be a lot harder than I thought. Obama: Really? It’s not that hard. I mean at least you get to be white while you’re doing it.”

And this is where things got real:

5. “The first black person that was officially invited to the white house was Fredrick Douglas. They stopped him at the gates. Abraham Lincoln had to walk out himself and escort Fredrick Douglas into the white house. And it didn’t happen again until Roosevelt was president. When Roosevelt was president he had a black guy over and got so much flack from the media that he literally said I will NEVER have a nigger in this house again.” Chappelle reminisced on these situations during his visit to the White House for a party he said was sponsored by BET. I thought about that and I looked at that room and I saw all of those black faces and I saw how happy everybody was. These people had been historically disenfranchised and it made me feel hopeful and it made me feel proud to be an American and made me very happy about the prospects of our country. So in that spirit I’m wishing Donald trump luck and I’m going to give him a chance. And we the historically disenfranchised demand that he give us one too.”

Check out the full monologue:


WELL DAMN!

TSR Staff: Chantel P. @_popchanny on IG!

Jade Whiteside