Oop! We don’t judge! Shoot, love is love, but one things for sure: no one needs to validate that for you…unless it’s your bestie. Sometimes we can fall a little head over heels, but our friends are right there to bring us backdown from cloud 9. However, what if our newly boo’d up friends don’t return from that infatuation phase as quickly as we’d hoped? We’ve all been there. Little to no kiki sessions, less blunt match-ups… You can literally be invisible for months, but you can still happy for your friend while they’re experiencing life! It’s natural to get a little jealous, so here are ten tips for when you might be losing your friend to a new boo and what you can do to combat the stresses!
1.) Git’chu one!
Have y’all ever heard the mantra, “The best way to get over someone is to get over someone else”? Well, it’s not like you’re breaking up with your best friend, but you can download Tinder or Jack’d or whatever fits your lifestyle and enjoy yourself! The relationships that you may build on these apps can be as long…or as short…as you need them to be. More importantly, it’s something you can control, so that should give your brain something else to obsess over.
2.) Work on yourself.
When you’ve been in a relationship with someone for so long, sometimes, you can lose yourself in them. Friends are an especially interesting case, because you’ve spent so much time together since you more than likely share a lot of the same interests. It isn’t until you start to spend time apart that you become more aware of who you are as an individual. Take advantage of this! You don’t want to go through life existing as just a part of someone else. Utilize the break, if you will, to evaluate what you want out of life and who you want to be!
3.) Wait your turn.
Just because your home girl is in a relationship with someone and is spending less time with you doesn’t mean that the tides won’t turn one day. There are so many fish in the sea! You’ll have your tango with love.
4.) Don’t lash out on them!
I’m sure your friend cannot deal with how wonderful they feel now that they’re in a relationship! Who wouldn’t want to be boo’d up as much as possible? With that being said, don’t throw shade at your friend for spending less time with you and more with their S/O*! Nobody likes a jealous b****. Your friend will then decide to ignore you AND spend more time with their boo which in turn will only keep you mad. So, yeah, just don’t do that. Check out #8 and do that instead!
5.) Expect your friend to think you’re overreacting.
Yeah, yeah, you have a boyfriend and I don’t. I must be jealous or something rolls eyes
6.) What if you suspect your friend is in a toxic relationship?
If you’ve got a sneaking suspicion that your bestie’s bae is not really good for them and you’re concerned, you should definitely notify their family or other close friends in case anything substantial happens.
7.) Be prepared for a shift in your friendship
Let’s face it. People are getting married left and right as if they’re getting paid for it! Your friend can be one of these people, especially now that EVERYONE (who is in love with a human) can get married. It’s a totally different plane of adulting that you may not be ready to accept or even tolerate. Plus, there’s this thing with single people having friends of the opposite sex. I don’t really get it, but I digress. Your bestie may meet new friends, married ones, phasing you into the darkness like a candle that’s gone out! Okay that’s a bit dramatic, but you get the picture!
8.) Talk to him/her about it.
If you are feeling like your friend is neglecting you, then that’s something totally different than a honey-moon phase. Sit her down with some wine and a blunt and just tell them how you feel! Hopefully, they aren’t sending you hints from the shade tree and instead are just getting their life from having tons of great sex with someone they actually like…that isn’t you! A real friend will give criticisms when necessary and a real friend will assess it and make changes.
TSR Intern: Talia O. @theclosetratchet on Instagram & @tallyohhh on Twitter!
