Presented by The Shade Room and Care for the Culture
Welcome Back, Roomies. Season 3 Goes Deeper.
For too long, conversations about love, dating, and intimacy have been filtered, leaving out the real talk. Season 3 of Roomie Diaries goes there. Hosted by Dustin Ross and presented by The Shade Room and Care for the Culture, this season sits down with eight guests for eight conversations about the rules we were taught, the doctors we avoid, and the health conversations that never happened growing up.
It's still the show you know: real people, real stories, real love and dating talk. But this season goes deeper, because the same silence that kept us from talking about heartbreak and first times also kept a lot of us in the dark about STD's, HIV, and getting tested. Nobody handed us that chapter. So we're getting into all of it.
Meet this season's guests below, and start the conversation, even if nobody started it with you.
"If you have HIV or AIDS, make sure you let your partner know. And even if you don't have it, if you're bouncing around, get tested. A hundred percent."
Dear Roomies, Is Testing Positive Really The End Of The World?
Cliff Vmir, a hairstylist, salon owner, and entrepreneur, closes out the season with Dustin. His mom, a phlebotomist instructor, spent his whole life drilling one message into him: wrap it up. It stuck. Today, he's a leader to a salon full of young men in the LGBTQ+ community who look to him for guidance and see him as a safe example to follow. He's candid that his own life doesn't match what people might assume about him. He's been with the same boyfriend for six years and is nowhere near the body count some might expect.
The biggest myth Cliff pushes back on is that a positive test result is the end of the world. What really gets to him is watching people weaponize someone's status, using it as a 'read' in an argument.
His advice applies to everyone, no matter who you are: wrap it up, get tested regularly, and if you test positive, tell your partner, because it's not the end of your life.
Learn more about protecting your sexual health at Care for the Culture!
"It doesn't need to be a shameful conversation. When you cut off that communication, that's when the sneaking starts."
Dear Roomies, Who Gave You The Talk?
Lex P and Drea, hosts of the Pour Minds podcast, join Dustin to talk about who actually gave them the talk growing up, and for a lot of people, the honest answer is nobody. Both got a version of it early. One grew up with a mother who was a registered nurse and didn't hold back, using medical encyclopedias to explain what happens if you don't wrap it up. The other's mom never treated her questions as shameful, while her dad stayed completely silent on the subject.
They get into why sex ed taught them about pregnancy but skipped STD's, testing, and things like bacterial vaginosis, and why so many of us learned to associate sex with shame instead of information. Their fix is simple: normalize routine testing like any other date night. One of them jokes that a "testing date" should be as normal as a nap date or a steak night, and going with a friend who won't judge you makes it easier.
Their message for the next generation is simple: don't let shame do the teaching. When you cut off the conversation, that's when the sneaking starts. Breaking the cycle, in their words, starts with us, as a community and a generation choosing to talk instead of staying quiet.
Learn more about protecting your sexual health at Care for the Culture!
"Talk about your health in any way, whether it's sexual, mental, or physical. We all want our true selves to be our best selves."
Dear Roomies, What Doesn't Make It Into Your Group Chat?
Actress and Air Time podcast host Reginae Carter joins Dustin to talk about the group chat, the place that knows who you're dating and what you did last night, except, somehow, whether you've been tested. Sexual health is the one topic that stays out, she says, because you can't always trust who's going to keep it between y'all.
She walks through how she decides what's safe to share and with whom, pointing out that trust isn't something you extend to a whole group chat, it's built with individual people over years. She's had friends since she was nine and ten who've never repeated a secret, and that's the bar. Her advice for bringing up something serious, like getting tested: be mindful of how you say it, know who you're talking to, and lead with the fact that you're not judging them.
Reginae closes with a direct message to the audience: check on your friends, and don't let sexual health be the one topic that stays off limits.
Learn more about protecting your sexual health at Care for the Culture!
"It's better to be educated, and it's better to know. You don't want to have to walk around in fear, doubt, a chip on your shoulder."
Dear Roomies, When Was The Last Time You Got Tested?
Rapper Saucy Santana joins Dustin for what might be the season's most straightforward episode. He doesn't dance around why testing makes people uncomfortable: in his words, it comes down to a lack of education.
Santana gets personal about his own wake-up call. He didn't have sex until eighteen, then, in his words, went on a rampage. When it finally came time to get tested, he was terrified waiting on the results. Everything came back negative, and that moment gave him a whole new outlook that still shapes how careful he is today. He's also honest about how little he understood about HIV.
He and Dustin get into how often people should get tested (every new partner, at minimum), why a "full panel" doesn't automatically include an HIV test unless you ask for it by name, and why he's stopped being afraid to talk about his own results. His bottom line: it's better to know than to guess, so you're a step ahead instead of walking around in fear.
Learn more about protecting your sexual health at Care for the Culture!
"You can't depend on other people to protect you. It's up to you to protect yourself."
Dear Roomies, Is It Enough To Trust Your Partner?
Dating coach Tisia Vere joins Dustin to talk about cheating, situationships, and relationships that don't fit into any one box. She's lived a version of this herself, and she's candid about what worked, what didn't, and why clear communication matters more than any label.
They get into why we've gotten more comfortable talking about sex but still struggle to talk about sexual health, and how old messaging about HIV, built on fear, taught a lot of us to keep quiet instead of asking questions. Tisia shares her method for bringing up testing with a partner without it sounding like an accusation, and why she recommends getting tested every three to six months if you have multiple partners.
Her bottom line: don't do what you don't do. Hold your standards and be honest about what you want. Dustin closes the episode the same way: when it comes to your body, what you don't know can hurt you, so protect your health the same way you protect your peace.
Learn more about protecting your sexual health at Care for the Culture!
"Keep going to different doctors until you find someone who's going to hone in on exactly what's wrong with you. You are not crazy."
Dear Roomies, What Did You Have To Unlearn About Your Body?
Music artist Big Boss Vette joins Dustin for one of the most personal conversations of the season. She grew up believing you only go to the doctor when something is horribly wrong, a lesson that followed her into adulthood and nearly cost her everything.
Vette walks through what happened when persistent headaches and nosebleeds got written off as a sinus infection, again and again, until she finally found a new doctor who ordered an MRI and found a brain tumor. She went through biopsy, chemo, and thirty-five rounds of radiation before ringing the bell. Her advice to anyone who feels dismissed: keep going to different doctors until someone actually listens. You are not crazy.
That same advocacy carries into the conversation about sexual health. Vette and Dustin talk about why so many women assume their annual visit automatically includes STD's and HIV testing. It usually doesn't, unless you ask. They also discuss why she believes there's no such thing as a bad question when it comes to your own body.
Learn more about protecting your sexual health at Care for the Culture!
"It's about learning your body, and taking it as seriously as you take your job, or anything else in your life."
Dear Roomies, When's The Last Time You Went To The Doctor?
Orthopedic surgeon Dr. Iggy sits down with Dustin, who opens the episode with one question for the guys: not the ER, not urgent care, the doctor. When was the last time? If you had to think about it, Dustin says, this episode is for you.
Dr. Iggy gets personal, telling the story of his own father, who lived with untreated hip arthritis for years out of fear, even while working inside a hospital. It took Dr. Iggy and his siblings, walking their dad through it step by step before he finally got the hip replacement he needed. Today he walks without a cane. That same fear comes back up later in the conversation, when Dustin points out that a lot of men will get tested for everything else and still skip the HIV test specifically. Most people don't even know you have to ask for it. It's not part of a routine physical.
The two talk honestly about the history behind that fear, including the legacy of the Tuskegee experiments, and what it would take to make checkups a flex instead of a chore. Dustin closes it out simply: taking care of your health isn't weakness. It's leadership. That's ownership.
Learn more about protecting your sexual health at Care for the Culture!
"It doesn't matter what you look like on the outside
if you're not taking care of the inside."
Dear Roomies, What Were The Rules You Grew Up On?
Actor, singer, and author Terrell Carter joins Dustin to talk about the rules he was raised on. His grandmother's version was simple: wait until marriage, no discussion needed. He admits he didn't listen, but the silence that came with that rule stuck with him for years.
Terrell opens up about growing up without his father in the house, and how the absence of any real conversation about sex or his own body left him without direction. It wasn't shame exactly, he says, it was just quiet. The first honest conversation he ever got about any of it came from a sixth grade sex ed class, not from home.
He and Dustin get into how that same silence still shows up today, especially around STD's, HIV, and testing. Terrell doesn't sugarcoat it: shame still keeps people out of the clinic. His answer isn't complicated: keep having the conversation. Dustin closes the episode with the same message: start it, even if nobody started it with you.
Learn more about protecting your sexual health at Care for the Culture!
The Conversation Doesn't Stop Here
Know your status. Ask the question. Start it, even if nobody started it with you.
Find More ResourcesUntil next time, stay safe out there, Roomies.
