Hey Roommates! Recently we asked you to confess why relationships never really seem to last long and most of you said the reason is because of lack of communication. Personally, I have been in a long term relationship for 11 years! My partner and I wouldn’t be in the position we are now without knowing how to communicate effectively. Well my experiences have helped me come up with 5 strategic ways to effectively communicate with your partner before he or she finds someone else who can!!
- Do not text your partner your issues! I repeat Do NOT text your issues. Instead call or meet them face to face. Once you spill the beans on all your problems via text, this immediately sends a red flag to your partner that you’re upset, and this will give he or she the advantage to run away from the problem or even take something you said wrong. If anything only text your partner if it is needed to arrange the actually talk. You can text , ‘Hey, can I call or meet you somewhere? I have something that’s on my mind.’
- Listen to what your partner has to say. This is one of the easiest ways a conversation between you and your partner can fail if he or she can’t even finish their own thoughts. Depending on the flow of the conversation you may let your emotions get the best of you, but the only way to resolve the issue is to stay calm and listen to what they have to say. Talking over the person is not only rude, but the conversation will immediately go south!
- Tell each other what’s exactly on your mind and explain what you really want in order for the relationship to grow. The only way a relationship will mature is if you all can come to an agreement that works for the both of you. Do not expect more than what your partner can handle. Instead, tell him or her the small tasks that will help the relationship mend on it’s own. If you and your partner can’t come to an agreement on what you both want out of each other, then ask each other ‘What attracted you to me in the beginning of our relations up until now?’ If the bad outweighs the good than you may have to reconsider the relationship entirely!
- Never jump to conclusions. For example: You may see on Instagram that your boyfriend just took a picture with another female. Hopefully the caption is respectful, but if it has you assuming otherwise, then first gather your thoughts and emotions before anything… in other words think before you speak! Analyze any other photos or messages to see if there is a pattern of shady photos or messages. Before assuming, what’s on social media, analyze your partner’s body language too. Is he or she more distant than usual? If you don’t see anything further, don’t try to find something. Move on from the situation. I’m not saying you have to play inspector gadget, but ask yourself, ‘Is this photo or message worthy of a potential break up?’ If you still feel uneasy, talk to your partner about the matter face to face and simply just ask he or she, ‘Would you be upset if I did the same thing?’ Most likely they will start to understand how your feel about the situation and sometimes the picture really meant nothing at all.
- Be honest. If you find that your boyfriend or girlfriend is always catching you in lies then it’s about time that you change your ways! Or once again, you may have to decide if this is really a healthy relationship you’re in or not. Without honesty, trust goes out of the door for you (and) your partner—yes, I said for the both of you! If your partner doesn’t trust you, he/she is liable to think that you’re out there doing wrong especially if he/she knows she’s out there doing wrong as well, and lets not talk about revenge cheating. Instead, some times its best to over communicate just so your partner is comfortable. Your partner does not have to know your every move because that is stressful and also stalker-like, but you can just tell them the little things like your location status or what your plans are for the day before its even asked. You can also call your partner more often than you usually do. It not only shows that you care, but that you want the relationship to work.
Hopefully these 5 steps will create an even stronger bond than you had before and maybe get you down the aisle a lot sooner! Lets chat below!
TSR Intern: Charise W.
Instagram: @planet_reese
What Do You Think Roomies?
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