Angela Simmons broke down in tears on the latest episode of Growing Up Hip Hop as she recalled having a difficult conversation with her son. The conversation centered around her ex-fiance, and father of her 3-year-old son, Sutton Tennyson, who was shot and killed in November 2018.

Angela was explaining to her life coach that her son, Sutton Jr., questioned her on whether or not his father is alive.

“I was with my son, and super emotional right, even to talk about it. He was looking out the window and he’s like, ‘Daddy, white car,'” Angela said on the verge of tears. “I question him, ‘Where do you see him?’ or ‘Who is Daddy? What does he look like?’ I’m asking him. I’m like, ‘Do you want to see your dad?’ and he’s like, ‘Yes.’ So he comes over and I start showing him videos and pictures and stuff, and he stopped. It’s not like he’s full conversational yet, so this is what kind of makes it emotional. He was like, ‘Is he alive?'”

Angela recalled being shook at him using the word “alive” because her son isn’t having full conversations yet, and that’s not a word he typically uses.

“So, for him ask that is like — whoa. Did you really just say, ‘Is he alive?'” she recalled. “I was just like, ‘No. He’s not.'”

“This is the first time I’m having to explain it to him, which is, like, super sad, because he’s three. How do you explain to a 3-year-old that they’re never going to see them again? Other than my own way, which is like, ‘He’s in Heaven, he’s with God.’ [I say] all of the great things, then he kind of laid his head in my chest– and told me he was sad.”

Watch her recall the difficult moment below: