On this episode of ‘Stepping Into The Shade Room,’ certified sex educator, sexologist, and relationship expert Shan Boodram is sitting down. This, for an unfiltered conversation on love, pleasure, and more! From her open marriage to trust and communication to the psychology of sex and the science behind “vabbing,” Boodram gets candid about it all in. This, in open conversation with host, Thembi.
Sexologist Talks Open Marriage & More
About three minutes into the conversation, Shan Boodram opened up about her open marriage. Contrary to the traditional understanding, Boodram explained that although she goes on dates, flirts, and has romantic connections with men outside her marriage, she has never been physically intimate with any of them.
“I choose that for myself, and my husband chooses that for him, which is important to know,” she explained, adding that her husband has had “versions of sex” with his extramarital interests. “… I trust his decision-making… it comes from a good place. And if he chooses to do something with his body, I think it’s probably what’s best for me. And the whole family and everybody else. Nothing that he has done ever has ever shown me that he doesn’t have me and the kids top of mind.”
Furthermore, Boodram acknowledged that the dynamic isn’t everyone’s standard. But called the experience “unique.” And part of her finding “her person.”
Shan Boodram Breaks Down “Vabbing” & Sex Hacks
According to Thembi, “vabbing” is the “practice of using one’s own vaginal fluids as perfume to attract others.” Per Boodram, the fluids likely contain pheromones which act as “scent signals to excite people.”
Scroll above to watch as Shan Boodram breaks down the phenomenon. Additionally, watch as she and Thembi discuss modern monogamy, “bad sex,” extreme kinks, and more!


