We all have been a sucker for love for a loser who was wrong for us in every aspect.What made it worse was we were so deep in love’s dream that no amount of red flags could wake us up out of it. Whether it be because you’re suffering for self esteem issues or you were just that naive, no one could tell you about your man! Well one Brooklyn woman got the rudest awakening of her life when she found out her man was cheating. Funny thing is, it wasn’t the fact that he was cheating that’s the trifling part, it’s how she found out that really kills us (no pun intended)!!
33-year-old, Ayanna Dookie, sat down with the NY Post to spill about the day she found out her man was cheating on her.
She starts off the story describing the day in April 2008 where she received a text from a friend that read “So sorry about what happened.”
At the time she didn’t know what her friend was referring to until he told her to Google her boyfriend’s, who she calls Spike, name. That’s when she saw it, her man of three years was “being held for the murder of his girlfriend’s ex-boyfriend.” Ironically, she isn’t the girlfriend the article is referring to!
Still in denial she says, “It didn’t make any sense. I was Spike’s girlfriend. I didn’t even have any ex-boyfriends. The reporter must have made a mistake.”
Too bad the lie detector says that they were telling the truth! Spike was being held on $100,000 bail for killing his girlfriend’s crazy ex boyfriend. Supposedly Spike was caught off guard by the ex when he broke into the woman’s house while Spike was sleeping there. A fight broke out and it ended with her ex being shot eight times ultimately killing him.
But back tracking to the beginning of her relationship, the red flags were all there, she was just too insecure to accept it.
“When I met Spike in 2004 at the age of 24, I’d never had a real boyfriend. I’d had countless one-night stands and “uhhh, it’s complicated” situations, but never anyone steady.”
She met Spike at a party and it wasn’t long before they jumped into a relationship with eachother and not long after the warning signs jumped in too.
“But there were warning signs that things weren’t right. About a year into the relationship, a girl I’d never met before took me aside at a party and said, ‘I know where I know your boyfriend from.’ The implication was that she’d seen him with another woman. Without missing a beat, I said, ‘I don’t want to know,’and walked away.”
She goes on to say,
“What was important to me was that I had a man. So what if there were other girls?”
Well the time for living in denial was over because that text surely slapped reality into her’s and everyone else’s face!
Unfortunately, at first she decided to stick by her man even when her friends argued against it. But of course everyone goes through their awakenings at different times and a few weeks later she was finally ready to kick his trifling azz to the curb!
She says she never spoke to him again after that but heard that he was able to get off on self-defense.
“At first, to the disgust of my friends, I decided to stand by my man. But a couple of weeks later I had a wake-up call. Did I value myself so little that I was going to play the part of the loyal girlfriend when he had treated me so badly? I never contacted Spike again, but I heard through the grapevine that his lawyers were able to get him off on grounds of self-defense.”
She has since that bad nightmare of relationship she has been doing so much better.
“Now, I can’t believe that I once suffered from such lack of self-esteem. Today, I have a steady boyfriend, but I don’t need a boyfriend to define me. In many ways, Spike did me a favor.”
Moral of the story never let a man define your happiness, red flags are red flags for a reason! Let’s chat below!
Sources Sited: NY Post
TSR STAFF: Debra Oh!! @The_Ebony_Issue on IG