Mo’Nique gave poetic comedy throughout her recently released Netflix specialMy Name Is Mo’Nique. She weaved fearlessly into topics like her special education middle school classes, her mother’s gambling addiction, and her grandmother’s rejection of her aunt, Uncle Tina.
She tearfully spoke about her grandmother and Uncle Tina’s relationship–leading to how she hid her sexual desires for women out of fear her grandmother wouldn’t love her publicly.
The first time she revealed those desires out loud was to her third husband, Sidney Hicks, and she admitted she was “so scared.”
“I watched those two women struggle. I watched them struggle in a way that my grandmother left this Earth, and they just couldn’t come together because she thought that she was a failure because she brought a gay child into the world. The church had f**ked her up to believe that her daughter was a sin, right? And that’s how she treated her,” the comedienne said.
Mo’Nique explained that her grandmother’s disapproval of Uncle Tina confused her. She couldn’t understand how her grandmother couldn’t “wrap [her] arms around [Uncle Tina] ’cause the way she came here.”
“I watched them struggle, and when my grandmother left here, my Uncle Tina became a homeless drunk because she just couldn’t understand why her mother could not love her the way she needed to be loved, and I felt cowardly when my grandmother left because I couldn’t tell my grandmother who her grandaughter really was cause I didn’t wanna be loved privately. I adored how she adored me.”
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Mo'Nique Says She Was 'So Scared' To Tell Sidney Hicks About Desires
The Parkers star says, for years, she tried to ‘sleep’ away her desires for intimacy with women by having lots of sex with men. She even jokingly referred to herself as a “quarter of a wh**e.”
Then one day, while married to Hicks, she said the desire awoke her from her sleep–pushing her to tell her husband what was wrong.
“One night that desire was on me so bad, I was in the bed sleep and that little thing tapping my shoulder like ‘p***y, p***y,’ and I’m laying in that bed so goddamn scared cause this my third husband,” she explained.
She says she debated telling Hicks because he’s the love of her life, and he signed up to be with Mo’Nique and only Mo’Nique.
“This that one that loved me when I was at my worst, like I was at my best. This is that one baby that makes me feel like no human being on the face of this Earth has ever made me feel before. This is that one,” she said. Adding, “I was so scared cause I’m saying to myself, this not what he signed up for. He signed up for you b***h, not you and another b***h.”
But the desire kept nagging at her. She described it as sickening her “mentally, physically, spiritually” because she couldn’t “tell nobody what [she] was born with.”
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Sidney Hicks Allegedly Reacted Lovingly, But The Comedian Didn't Act On Her Desires
Finally, Mo’Nique says she woke Sidney, telling him she has something to reveal and asking him not to leave after.
“But I gotta tell you, baby, cause you know me, you know when something ain’t right, and something hadn’t been right for years, but because I’m a celebrity, a star, I can mask it. I can mask it with my pretty things, but that night the mask had to come out.”
She laughed, saying her husband quickly asked if she had killed anyone. She denied being a killer before dropping her secret.
“I said Daddy and my heart was racing so fast cause this was the first time I was getting ready to say it out loud to anybody. I said, Daddy, I wanna be with another woman sexually and he looked at me so beautifully and so patient and so loving and said “b***h, me too.” He said, “you find that b***h and we will f**k that b***h together.”
The crowd erupted with laughter–and so did the comedienne. She then explained that she decided to keep her desires a fantasy because she couldn’t see herself reciprocating sexual acts on a woman.
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Mo'Nique Recently Revealed She 'Grew Out' Of Wanting An Open Marriage
Despite claiming she didn’t act on her sexual desires, Mo’Nique and Sidney have previously opened up about having an open marriage arrangement.
Mo and Sidney married in 2006 but met in high school as sophomores in the Baltimore suburbs. They became romantically involved years later after reportedly being roommates. Before tying the knot, the couple welcomed twin sons, David and Jonathan.
Last month, she told The Hollywood Reporter they’ve stopped seeing others. On her part, Mo’Nique said she doesn’t “want to sacrifice” her marriage.
“Life began to happen. I began to see a strength I had never seen before. He loved me at my worst, I didn’t want to sacrifice that just for a lay. So I grew out of that,” she toldThe Hollywood Reporter.
She’s always maintained that the idea was hers. It’s unclear if the open marriage arrangement began before or after she told Hicks about her sexual desires involving women.
Topping off her comedy special, she explained that as a “fat little Black girl,” she wanted “validation and acceptance.” But as she got older, Mo’Nique learned to accept who she is and walk her talk!
“So I had to accept the fact that my father was a motherf**king alcoholic and really didn’t give a f**k about his family. I had to accept the fact that my mother was a goddamn gambler and would gamble away any motherf**king thing. I had to accept the fact that my oldest brother was a goddamn molester. I had to accept the fact that my other brother signed my name to documents and f**ked with my reputation. I don’t judge it. It’s just what the fuck it is. So it allowed me to accept when people were telling me what I wasn’t. When motherf**kers told me you’re no Dave Chappelle, you’re no Amy Schumer, you’re no Chris Rock. Them motherf**kers was right because my name is Mo’Nique.”
Cassandra Santiago is a multimedia journalist, editor, and editorial strategist with over a decade of experience shaping conversations across arts, entertainment, culture, and global news. A graduate of the University of Iowa, she has built a cross-platform career spanning newspapers, magazines, radio, and digital media.
She joined The Shade Room five years ago and currently serves as a Senior Editor, where she leads editorial direction, oversees exclusive coverage, and trains and edits a team of writers. Cassandra has played a key role in developing high-impact content and editorial strategies for an audience of more than 30 million, contributing to platform growth, engagement, and monetization across multiple channels. In addition to her leadership role, she remains a daily contributor, with her articles generating more than 41 million views since 2023.
Beyond The Shade Room, Cassandra offers freelance social media strategy services, speaks on the influence and impact of Black media at public panels, and owns Did It For You, an event design company in the DC, Maryland, and Virginia area. She is Poynter Institute–certified and was named to the DMV’s 35 Under 35 list in 2024.
