In honor of Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month, more specifically today which is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day, I wanted to write this open letter to the women and their families who have suffered through miscarriage(s), stillbirth(s), and have lost an infant to SIDS/SUID (Sudden Infant Death/Sudden Unexpected Infant Death.
My name is a Jameelah Fisher, I am a 23 year old mother of two. My daughter, Ryen Yvonne Davis was born September 24, 2013 and died on January 28, 2014 due to SIDS. She was a perfectly healthy baby girl, very alert and extraordinary in every way. The night of January 28, her father and I found her not breathing and experienced the worst pain I believe a parent can ever endure.
With this I want mothers and families who have ever lost a child to know that you are not alone and your babies deserve to be remembered. You should know that your pain is valid and that you deserve to grieve. Whether you carried your child for 2 weeks or raised them for two months, your pain is valid! Do not feel ashamed or guilty. Do not question your body or ever feel less than a woman because you could not carry to term, deliver a healthy baby, or stop the inevitable death of your child.
For fathers, grandparents, aunts, and uncles: know that your pain is valid as well. Do not allow others to make you feel like you cannot possibly hurt as much as the mother. You deserve to grieve as well. I feel that we as angel families have nothing to hide and can be a source of strength to others.
This issue deserves a conversation. Just as advocates of Breast Cancer Awareness have opened up the conversation and saved millions of lives, we can save millions of babies. Although, nothing is 100% preventable, being knowledgeable about the risks pregnancy and infant loss can save our babies and save families from the overwhelming grief that angel families like mine and many others constantly endure.
For those who have suffered these losses, I urge you to seek counseling, talk about it, write about it, pray about it, and don’t ever be ashamed to talk about your little angel. What I realized is my God can care for my daughter way better than I can, and I have to learn to live the best life possible. Don’t give up on life and your dreams because in essence you would be giving up on your baby in heaven. Just as parents who have children on earth have a responsibility to set a good example for their children you have the same responsibility because he or she is always with you and watching over you. Take Care and God Bless!
If you would like to share your story of loss please send me a DM or tag me in a post, I am featuring angel families all month!